QUESTION:

My wife is hesitant to let me give her oral sex. The last time I did it, a couple of days later she got a urinary tract infection. She thinks the oral sex might have been the cause. Is this possible or likely? If so, what can I do to ensure it doesn't happen again? And, what can I do to convince my wife that it won't happen again?

 

ANSWERS:

UTIs can and do occur for women, even with oral sex. Unfortunately for women the urethra is very close to the vagina and bacteria can move up it to the bladder. If not caught in time it can travel to the kidneys. A UTI is miserable for anyone, causing pain the back, the sides and an urgent need to pee with little result. It is frustrating to say the least. Added to that, some women, once they are prescribed an antibiotic then develop a yeast infection, which requires additional treatment. Any wonder then that sometimes a woman is less than eager for oral sex?


There are some things your wife can do to try and stop another UTI:


• Keep the vaginal area clean, including wiping from the front to back after a bowel movement to prevent contamination of the urinary tract.


• Use tampons and change every three to four hours, instead of sanitary pads. (The pads can act as a culture medium for fecal bacteria, which may then be rubbed against the urinary outlet and invade the bladder.)


• Avoid wearing tight clothes in the genital area, such as control-top pantyhose and skin-tight jeans, as well as extended wearing of a wet bathing suit.


• Wear cotton undergarments, which allow air circulation and discourage the warm, moist environment needed for bacteria growth. Nylon pantyhose should have a cotton crotch.


• When giving oral sex try to avoid going 'too deep' into the vaginal area (tip: women are mostly turned on when you touch their clitoris, and less so when you touch other parts of their vagina). This will reduce the chance of driving any bacteria into the urethra.


• Urinate before and after intercourse and make sure that the partner's hands and penis are clean.


• Brush your teeth and tongue before sex, that will eliminate many of the germs that might cause the problems.


• Drink plenty of fluids (cranberry juice has been shown to help prevent urinary tract infections.)


• Urinate "when you see a bathroom" rather than when the urge to urinate becomes strong.


Just go gently with her and don't push the oral sex issue. Most women need to be really relaxed to enjoy oral sex in the first place, and if you push the issue, you will just frustrate her.

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Urinary tract infections can happen to a woman when they receive oral sex so it's not something you can convince her 'won't happen again' but there are many other things, besides oral sex, that could cause her to have one as well.

Anything from you having a sore throat, to an abscessed tooth, to your own "oral flora" can upset her "genital flora" and cause a UTI.

Her birth control pills and hormones can cause a UTI, so unless EVERY time you go down on her she gets a UTI, there's no reason to think you and she are not compatible in that respect.

If by chance you did have a "flora" incompatibility issue,
it has been shown that through limited and continued exposure incompatible floras will learn to get along happily! :-)

You can take some precautions to hopefully avert a repeat incident. Brush, floss and use a good mouthwash before you go down on her to eliminate the majority of bacteria in your mouth. CLEAN FINGERS are a must too!  And then your wife needs to be sure to urinate every time after you have sexual activity of any nature.

It's well worth the little "extra effort" up front to ensure that you both have a pleasurable experience.

Wishing you the best of luck!

TiKi

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